Rising and Repeating – Cycles of this Phoenix

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I’m Ashley

Hi, I’m Ashley Dawn. I’m a mum, a partner to a wonderfully grounding man, a creator, an avid reader, and a survivor of childhood trauma navigating life with C-PTSD, ADHD, and fibromyalgia. I created Rising and Repeating – Cycles of this Phoenix to strip away the clinical jargon and talk honestly about the messy, complex, and often absurd reality of trauma recovery. I’m writing this blog to process my own journey, normalize the wild ride of healing a hypervigilant brain, and offer a cozy, humorous, and safe space for anyone else trying to rebuild their life—one story, laugh, and daily survival win at a time.

What’s inside Rising and Repeating

  • Rising and Repeating – Cycles of this Phoenix (what its all about)
  • Rising from the Rubble: Phoenix cycle and how it taught me about C-PTSD
  • PTSD vs. C-PTSD: The Spicy Remake No One Asked For
  • Stollen Childhood: My brutal truth (minus real names and places)
  • Escapes from the Chaos: Keeping me sane when my world wasn’t

And that’s just the start …

Content & Trigger Warnings

This blog is a raw, honest, and unfiltered space where I process living with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and trauma. Because of the nature of deep recovery, my writing frequently touches on heavy, adult topics, including the physical, emotional, medical, and sexual impacts of prolonged trauma.

Themes frequently discussed across this blog include:

  • Sexual Trauma, Abuse & Reclamation
    • Childhood grooming, sexual assault, and rape (including experiences at ages 15 and 22)
    • Processing sexual trauma, consent, agency, and navigating C-PTSD within BDSM/kink as a framework for healing
  • Relationship & Interpersonal Abuse
    • Medical abuse, control, and manipulation by an ex-partner
    • Struggling with self-advocacy, setting boundaries, and trusting your own voice after systemic control
    • Severe verbal, physical, emotional, and financial abuse
  • Childhood & Developmental Trauma
    • Severe physical, emotional, and verbal abuse by caregivers
    • Neglect and extreme/punitive punishments by parents
    • Parental infidelity and unstable domestic environments
    • Sibling abuse and severe bullying
  • Complex Trauma & C-PTSD
    • Emotional flashbacks, nervous system dysregulation, and hypervigilance
    • Suicidality, self-harm, and suicide attempts
    • Substance use, drug and alcohol abuse
  • Chronic Pain & Medical Trauma
    • Fibromyalgia, physical exhaustion, and somatic pain symptoms
    • Navigating healthcare spaces and overcoming medical gaslighting/abuse
  • Neurodivergence & Mental Health
    • ADHD, executive dysfunction, burnout, and imposter syndrome
  • Toxic Family Dynamics & Boundaries
    • Estrangement, gaslighting, narcissistic family patterns, and strict boundaries

Your peace of mind matters here. To help you navigate this space safely, every individual blog post will feature a specific, detailed trigger list at the very top before the article begins. That way, you can make an informed choice on whether a particular post is right for your nervous system today. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and always prioritize your safety first.

UK mental health, crisis, and trauma support

A Note for International Readers

Please note that I am based in the UK, so the crisis lines, charities, and supportive resources I have provided directly below are located within the United Kingdom. If you are joining us from anywhere else in the world, I invite you to share your supportive thoughts or ask questions here in my comments section; however, for professional help, please seek out your own country’s specific mental health advocates, charities, or crisis lines.

Samaritans – Free, confidential support for anyone experiencing emotional distress or suicidal thoughts – Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) – Email: jo@samaritans.org – Website: samaritans.org

Shout – Free, 24/7 silent text service for anyone in crisis or struggling to cope. – Text: Text SHOUT to 85258 (Free, 24/7)

Mind – Information, advocacy, and local mental health support services. – Infoline: 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am–6pm) – Support Line: 0300 102 1234 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm) – Website: mind.org.uk

Rape Crisis England & Wales – Free, confidential support for women and girls who have experienced sexual violence or abuse. – Phone: 0808 500 2222 (Free, 24/7) – Live Chat: rapecrisis.org.uk

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) – Free, 24/7 support for survivors of domestic abuse, controlling behavior, and violence. – Phone: 0808 2000 247 (Free, 24/7) – Website: nationaldahelpline.org.uk

NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) – Dedicated support line for adult survivors of childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. – Phone: 0808 801 0331 (Mon–Thu 10am–9pm, Fri 10am–6pm) – Website: napac.org.uk

Childline – Free support for children and young people under 19. – Phone: 0800 1111 (Free, 24/7) – Website: childline.org.uk